ACT 3 Scene 5: DRINK THOU THIS HELL-BROTH

 

DRINK THOU THIS HELL-BROTH 

 

ACT 3

 

Scene 5

 

~ Curtain Opens ~

 

The forest, in the mountains of the enchanted Greek island, where the trees are dead, all save one, which appears dead as well, but has eyes that spy.

 

[ The evil spirits AGONIGHTUS,  KALIMAY, WACANDAMACA and FIFI  stand in a small clearing in front of a cave. Their faces are melted to the bone from the exposure to St. John's Wort flowers at Thisbe's Tavern.  ROWAN spies on them as a dead-seeming tree.]

 

 AGONIGHTUS

 

Someone watches us.  Yet behold how the Belladonna still rests upon her  bed of the sea.

 

[ AGONIGHTUS points off stage.]

 

KALIMAY

 

If not Belladonna, then who can it be?

 

FIFI

 

[ Points to the heavens.] 

 

Does Beatrice watch us with starry eyes?

 

 

 

 WACANDAMACA

 

Forgive us, Beatrice.  We could not have known.

 

AGONIGHTUS

 

 We should have known the Groach was made of lies and she and Mab already had the stone.

 

FIFI

 

Twas their plot that stripped our faces to bone.

 

KALIMAY

 

We seek to save you and make them atone.

 

[ They raise their arms to the skies. ]

 

ALL

 

By Groach and Queen Mab we have been betrayed!

 

Thus our faces taken by their device!

 

Faceless we are but are not to be stayed!

 

Double crossed we, but never so done twice! 

 

 

 

[ A sinister VOICE comes forth from the CAVE with a glowing green mist.] 

 

 VOICE FROM CAVE

 

Sisters, I am more here than I am there!

 

So by the Stone of Artemis torn twain,

 

My good nature imprisoned where you stare,

 

The rest of me cast near hell worse than slain!

 

[ They all walk to the mouth of the cave.]

 

ALL

 

Beatrice!

 

 

 

VOICE FROM THE CAVE / BEATRICE 

 

Aye, my greater part is here in this hold,

 

By Queen for her King was I stole from life!

 

Secrets of the battle I now unfold.

 

She herself did cut with the diamond knife!

 

Her good self now locked in same stars with mine,

 

Her bad side walks the isle still in body,

 

Whilst I, an ooze, locked in earth do confine!

 

Till thee drink of me to my soul embody!

 

Drink thou this hell broth and speak only death!

 

All who smell thy words shall die of thy breath!

 

Make haste and to thy fell purpose take seize!

 

There is life left yet in one of these trees! 

 

[ The CAVE vomits a disgusting looking, lumpy broth.  WACANDAMACA, AGONIGHTUS, FIFI and KALIMAY fall to their knees and scoop up handfuls of the hell broth and drink.  They all rise and don golden helmets exactly like the one QUEEN MAB wears.  They all exit.]

 

VOICE FROM THE CAVE / BEATRICE

 

[ Hissing out with a rolling green fog] 

 

Die! 

 

[ ROWAN exits the tree she was hiding inside. ]

 

ROWAN

 

[Sighing to herself]

 

O most horrible sight!

 

Long yet short grows this night!

 

[ ROWAN exits just before the deadly green fog reaches her hiding place.]

 

~ CURTAIN CLOSES ~

 

                                  ~ TO BE CONTINUED ~ 

 

 

 

 

ACT 3 Scene 2 THE TEARS OF OBERON

ACT 3

Scene 2

~ CURTAIN OPENS ~

 

The Enchanted Island's Port Village Square.

[ The backdrop is the sea with Freddie's yacht in the distance.  The store fronts include Percy Pear's Print Shop, Winterbottom's Stained Glass, Toot's Sweets & Bakery, Quibble's Accounting, Sieve's Water Taxi, Thisbe's Tavern and the entrance to the Sea Breeze Hotel.]

[ St. John's Eve / Midsummer's Eve Festival is in full swing.  Street vendors with push carts sell food, yellow balloons, sparklers, crowns made of yellow silk flowers and party favors.  Street musicians roam about.  The villagers eat, dance, sing, visit the fortune teller, a kissing booth and game booths.  On the edge of the fountain sits a much older version of the fairy POPPY, eating ice cream, enjoying the festival, legs swinging to and fro.]

Enter ROWAN.

[ ROWAN has her fairy wings tucked away and is dressed like the villagers.  She is on a serious mission but can't help but smile when she sees the ancient version of POPPY.]

ROWAN

 [ Suppressing a grin.]

 Hillo! Ho! Here sits someone merry! Enjoying the high day?

[ POPPY is startled, drops the ice cream into the fountain and almost falls in herself but is saved by ROWAN at the last second.]

ROWAN

 Peace, ancient stranger who looks very like Poppy.  Here is thy dropp-ed cane to steady thee!

POPPY

 [ Disoriented ]

 Much thanks for my walking stick, for I needs must beat thee with it, as thou knowest well I am that Poppy, sent to spy in the village!

ROWAN

Why, gentle Poppy, where is thy eternal youth?

POPPY

Oberon hath made us instant old for our thievish pursuits at St. John's Priory, which thou well knowest, because he quoth to us thy long report at the punishment.

ROWAN

Even so, I am sent to soft thy mission.  Spy no more for traces of Titania.  Cease that and begin as Wort's assistant.

[Enter WORT, dragging a great flower cart filled with baskets of St. John's Wort Flowers.]

ROWAN

Poppy, help Wort distribute her flower to every villager.

POPPY

I answer to Oberon and Puck.  You and Wort serve Titania and I am too old for this!

[ WORT puts one of her yellow wreaths on POPPY'S head.]

ROWAN

Tonight we serve the Fairy Kingdom which they do jointly rule.

POPPY

But see how the villagers already wear the crowns of Wort.

ROWAN

Even now, evil spirits walk our island as the villagers have taken to silk flowers that wither not and carry not the true-sweet, witch repelling nectar.

Enter THREE LITTLE GIRLS.  

[ ROWAN gives a wreath to each of the THREE LITTLE GIRLS who have skipped up to the fountain to wash off items they found on the ground.  The girls happily wear the wreaths and share what they have found]

FIRST LITTLE GIRL

[ To Rowan ]

Here's some Fairy Stones for you!  Thank you for the flowers!

SECOND LITTLE GIRL

[ Handing some stones to Poppy.]

These are for you.  They bring good luck!

THIRD LITTLE GIRL

[ Giving stones to Wort.]

This is your share.  They fell from the sky!

FIRST LITTLE GIRL

[Pointing off stage]

Look!  Fireworks!

Exit THREE LITTLE GIRLS

WORT

These are not ordinary Fairy Stones!

ROWAN

Indeed, this night is turning foul.  These are the tears of Oberon.  Make haste!  Where is Puck?

[ POPPY lifts her trembling cane and points at THISBE'S TAVERN.]

POPPY

He is up to old tricks in the tavern!

~ CURTAIN CLOSES ~

Please have some refreshments in the lobby and be sure to return for:

Act 3  Scene 3:

 MEANWHILE, BACK AT THISBE'S

ACT 3 Scene 1 ABOARD THE BELLADONNA

ACT 3

Scene 1

Aboard the Groach Ship, BELLADONNA, Captain's Quarters.

[ The BELLADONNA is alive.  Her breath is heavy, almost masculine.  Jewels, gold and other treasures sparkle and fill every available space.  She rocks and creaks and her breathing begins to form words, then a very slow, gravelly singing to the melody of Alice Cooper's: "I'm 18". ]

BELLADONNA

[ Surround Sound, Heavy Breathing, Gravelly Voiced Singing]

Eatiiiiiiinnnnnng.

Eatiiiiiiiinnnnnnng.

I'm eatiiiiiiiiiinnnnng.

Even full from stern to bow,

Even full from bottom to top,

I want some more and I want it right now!

I'm too full but I can't stop!

I'm eating, and I eat more everyday.

Eating.  Don't try to get away!

I'm eating, any time or place.

I'm eating more than a black hole in space!

O, so full from my bow to my stern!

O, so full, top to butt!

Nothing on earth can make my stomach turn.

Welcome to my endless gut!

Even when I'm eating, I feel like I'm not.

Don't care if it is cold or hot.

Don't always chew, sometimes swallow it whole.

No matter how much, I want more than I got.

I'm eatiiiiinnnng.

Eatiiiiiiinnnnnnng!

Eating cause I like it!

[Enter AGONIGHTUS, KALIMAY, WACANDAMACA and FIFI.  Even these fierce, evil spirits seem shocked by the amount of treasure and somewhat nervous about being aboard the BELLADONNA.]

AGONIGHTUS

Are you ready to go ashore?

BELLADONNA

[Creaking, the sound of splitting wood, then the voice]

By and by.

[ A different VOICE from behind a red velvet curtain abruptly speaks in a squeaky, stressed manner.  The VOICE is "shhhhed" by other frightened VOICES.]

VOICE

By and by is easily said.

OTHER VOICES

Shhhh!

AGONIGHTUS

What was that?

BELLADONNA

Hmmm.  Just a bit of someone undigested.  Go now.  I will find you in the village.

[AGONIGHTUS, KALIMAY, WACANDAMACA and FIFI exit rapidly]

~ To Be Continued ~

http://bit.ly/imBp8E I'm 18/Alice Cooper

ACT 2 Scene 4 A TRAITOR IN FAIRYLAND

ACT 2

Scene 4

The dock for St. John's Priory on the other side of the enchanted island.

[ It is dark except for one faint light on a lamppost which flickers and goes out. SIEVE'S boat is the only one there. SIEVE and HANK'S BODY (now possessed by his twin LEO) and the GOAT(possessed by FREDDIE, the twin's father), step out of the boat and onto the dock with only a flashlight to guide them.]

SIEVE

Alas, poor goat!  I got thee to the priory!

HANK/LEO

It's so dark. Are you sure we are in the right place?  Give me the flashlight!

[ SIEVE gives HANK/LEO the flashlight, takes out his spyglass and looks at the stars and SCREAMS ]

SIEVE

We're in the wrong hemisphere! 

HANK/LEO

Give me that!  What's the matter with you?  We haven't had time to change hemispheres!

[ HANK/LEO grabs the spyglass and gives SIEVE the flashlight.]

SIEVE

I've never seen those stars before!  Besides, I told you no one is here, they're all at the festival.

HANK/LEO

If that's my father's yacht, then we're on the wrong side of the island.

[ HANK/LEO looks out to sea through the spyglass.]

B, E, L, L, A, D, O, N, N, A.    Not my dad's.

SIEVE

[Shrill voice, very anxious]

Was this the ship that lunched a thousand faces and burnt them for hours in it's bottomless monster ileum?!

HANK/LEO

You are drunk!

SIEVE

[ Shines the light around the dock rapidly.]

This looks like the right place.  Let's drop off the goat and get the hell out of here!

HANK/LEO

Give me the flashlight and the goat!  You stay right here!  Don't you dare leave! Leda is out there, somewhere!  We're not leaving without my wife!

SIEVE

I'll wait in the boat. Right here in the boat.

[ HANK/LEO drags the goat by the rope, goes down the dock, turns and shines the light back towards SIEVE, who is ducking in the boat , only visible from the eyes up. He comes upon the lamppost and tightens the bulb. The light comes back on.]

HANK/LEO

The bulb was just loose.  I can see the path now.  I'll be back with Leda in a minute. Don't you dare leave without us!

[ HANK/LEO and the GOAT/FREDDIE exit ]

[ A moment of silence.]  

[Enter LEO'S  body possessed by HANK'S spirit, like a bat out of hell.  He grabs the lamppost, catches his breath and scrambles towards the boat.]

LEO/HANK

A boat!  Thank God!

(Laughs hysterically, then is suddenly serious.)

Get me out of here!

SIEVE

That was fast!

[ SIEVE gets out of the boat and walks towards LEO/HANK.  LEO/HANK grabs SIEVE by the shoulders and shakes him while he yells at him.] 

LEO/HANK

Get back in the boat!  You take me to the Sea Breeze Hotel right now!  Right now!  Get me out of here! I smell beer!

SIEVE

I'll throw the beer overboard if it bothers you that much. 

LEO/HANK

No! Don't do that.  I want one.  Start the boat first. Hurry!

SIEVE

Look, it's none of my business, but, there is no way you had time to search for Leda.  I thought you wanted to find her.

LEO/HANK

( Laughs like a mad man, then gets serious abuptly.)

You know her!?  Well, why not.  Afterall, she's a hootchy-kootchy woman.  She's the one I'm trying to get away from!  She's stalking me!

SIEVE

I need another beer.

LEO/HANK

We drink when we are so far from the shore that she can't swim out to us!

[ SIEVE and LEO/HANK exit.]

[ Enter HANK/LEO]

HANK/LEO

( Shouting)

Hey! Hey! I paid you to wait for me!

[ HANK/LEO realizes he's too late and begins to talk to himself.]

HANK/LEO

That's alright. I will deal with you later.  Lost my father-the-goat chasin after the boat.  That's alright too.  I'll find him later. I'm the only one who knows what's going on around here.

[ HANK/LEO exits into the bushes.]

[ Enter fierce ROWAN, Titania's Body Guard.  She has something tiny in the palm of her hand.]

ROWAN

 Here is thy once missing scepter, Your Majesty. 

[There is a great puff of smoke from which QUEEN MAB appears in the human sized version of herself, still wearing her usual golden helmet. She takes the almost invisible scepter from ROWAN'S palm.]

ROWAN

How went the meeting aboard the frightful Belladonna?

QUEEN MAB

The Mosquito and I saw eye to eye. All will go as planned.  She briefs the others as we speak.  And where did we find Our one time missing Scepter?

 

ROWAN

   With a Puck.  I had Seadew tender that Puck asleep with a soothing mist so I might retrieve thy scepter undetected.  He sleeps even now in the bushes nearby, with his train of followers, all wearing the weeds of good monks and blessed nuns. He hath done much mischief this evening. He hath heard confessions and made marriages and feasted upon many months of stored supplies belonging to St. John's Priory. He hath turned a well known and wealthy human into a goat.  He hath switched the souls of that man's twin sons.  A sleep seemed the only way to deal with him.

QUEEN MAB

It seems Our curse did little to keep Puck out of our way. Take you this potion and give it him and his fairies before they wake.  It will remove the curse and  everyone's memory of this evening's events. Then will Oberon find his fatted fairies sleeping and no excuses to be made. Let the goat and his twins keep up the run. We will tend to them when the worst is done! This will suit Our purpose.

ROWAN

If Your Majesty has no other tasks for me, I will attend to Puck and then continue to appear to search for Queen Titania.

QUEEN MAB

Worthy, strong and true Rowan, you will be much rewarded for your loyalty to Us.

[ROWAN bows deeply and respectfully to QUEEN MAB. ]

[ QUEEN MAB exits.]

[ Enter SEADEW, a sweet and goofy fairy who giggles a lot, the same SEADEW who earlier attended upon TITANIA asked TITANIA if she wanted her blue diamond removed before her nap.]

ROWAN

More mist! More mist!  The Queen commands that Oberon shall find a lazy lump of Puck!

SEADEW

( giggles)

Which Queen?

ROWAN

(Pretending to be angry)

What?  Shall I beat you?  Did you call our Queen a witch?

[SEADEW runs in circles flapping her arms.  ROWAN catches her before SEADEW hits the lamppost.]

SEADEW

Making the mist.  Just making the mist. Come Seamint! Help me make the mist!

ROWAN

(Affectionately)

Come, silly Seadew. Oberon is near.

[ ROWAN and SEADEW exit into the bushes.]

[Enter OBERON, boiling mad.]

OBERON

Methinks I never ate anger till now!

Appear thou Puck or thee I disavow!

[ Enter ROWAN.  SEADEW and SEAMINT, a male version of SEADEW, sneak out of the bushes to follow ROWAN ]

OBERON

 Servants of my missing Queen, what do you report?

SEAMINT

( Whispers to Seadew)

That I have never seen such testosterone in an Oberon before!

[ ROWAN swats SEADEW and SEAMINT back towards the bushes and scolds them.]

ROWAN

Seamint! Seadew! Get thee gone!

Dare not play with Oberon!

[Exit SEAMINT and SEADEW.]

OBERON

Fierce Rowan, tell me what you tell the bushes!

ROWAN

Indeed My Lord, I tell them that they snore in their sleep! Here! No, there!  Hast thou ever heard so sore a snore?  Well, no matter what wild boar sleeps here, I must continue my search for my Queen!

[ ROWAN points to where she left PUCK and his TRAIN OF FAIRIES sleeping. ROWAN exits.]

OBERON

(To himself)

I will wake this creature that dares to sleep on such a night!

[ OBERON exits into the bushes.]

~ To Be Continued ~

ACT 2 Scene 2 PUCK FINDS SOMETHING IN THE GRAVEYARD AT ST JOHN'S ABBEY

ACT 2

Scene 2

The graveyard of St. John's Priory next to the chapel. PUCK, POPPY, TOADFLAX, HAREBELL, YEW, BUD, FOXGLOVE and YARROW are gathered around a tombstone.

PUCK

This is the grave of Bandar, the changeling!

Here lies the boy King Oberon did nab!

Much did the world quake from that quarreling!

Could this be the hideaway of Queen Mab?  

[ An OWL HOOTS four times.]

OWL

Who! Who! Who! Who!

[ The fairies scramble and hide behind tombstones and trees.  Dry leaves blow across the stage. ]

YARROW

[ She ventures out and WHISPERS ]

All clear.

[ All the fairies creep out from their hiding places. ] 

TOADFLAX

[ Answering Puck, whispering ]

Many a night this site she was last seen.

Rested here the carriage of Mab, The Queen.

[ A CREATURE off stage GROWLS four times.]

CREATURE

Grrrrr! Grrrrr! Grrrrr! Grrrrr!

[ The fairies stifle their SCREAMS, fall all over each other as they rush back to their hiding places. POPPY pulls PUCK behind  the tomb of BANDAR because PUCK has trouble moving the direction he wants to.  Dry leaves BLOW across the stage from the opposite side this time. After a moment of silence, YARROW ventures out again. ]

YARROW

False alarm!

[ The fairies come out and gather around BANDAR'S grave.  PUCK inspects the monument carefully.  He finds something.]

PUCK

[ Holds a tiny splinter high, arm stretched out fully. ]

Alas Queen Mab's scepter! Puck knows thee well!

Oft' this royal staff hath flogged my head to hell.

And found a sepulchre inside this skull.

The book of Puck's brain it doth nightly gull!

[ A shadow moves across the stage.  A crow CAWS four times. ]

CROW

Caw! Caw! Caw! Caw!

[ The fairies dash to hide, torn between fear and looking foolish for being so afraid.  PUCK peeps from behind the tombstone, shakes his head in shame, rests his face in his arms folded atop the stone.  The fairies giggle then get defensive. ]

TOADFLAX

What if it had been Mab?!

POPPY

 What if it had been Oberon?!

[ Puck melts in shame slowly sinking back behind the tombstone.  He emits a LOUD YOWL and pops back up playing an electric guitar.] 

PUCK

[ Singing to the tune of John Lee Hooker's BOOM! BOOM! ]

 Yeeeeeeee ooooooowwwwww!

Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!

Gonna scare you right now!

Right outta your seat!

Make you scared of me!

Put you in a haunted house!

Hey! Hey!

[ All the fairies join in and dance like Frankenstein.]

PUCK (CONT'D)

Whoa! Baby!

You blow my mind!

When you walk

Like Frankenstein!

Yeah! Yeah!

Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!

Oh Yeah!

Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl.

Growl. Growl. Growl. Growl.

Hear the snappin' twig!

Hoot. Hoot. Mr. Owl!

Flip your wig!

Throw in the towel!

Get scared tonight!

Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!

Love to scare you!

Love to scare you, baby!

Love to see you run!

Run away from me!

Chasin' you is fun!

Come on, come on!

Run away from me!

Wanna scare you some more!

Boo! Boo!......

 [ Puck and the fairies suddenly hush and hide again.]

Enter LEDA and LEONARDO.  LEDA clings to LEONARDO for dear life. LEONARDO is HANK'S identical twin. ]

LEDA

I heard singing!

LEONARDO

I heard it too.

LEDA

Where are the monks?

[ PUCK pops back up from behind the tombstone wearing a monk's clothing, adjusting the rosary around his suddenly large waist and rubbing his newly bald head.  LEDA and LEONARDO do not see him yet but they hear the fairies gasp, giggle and whisper.]

FAIRIES 

Oh no!

[ LEONARDO moves LEDA behind him as he turns around to face the direction of the voices. ]

LEONARDO

Who's there!?

PUCK

It's Prior Puck, my children.

LEONARDO

Will you marry us?

PRIOR PUCK

Both of you?  We've only just met!

[ PUCK walks backwards towards LEONARDO and LEDA.  The other fairies come from behind tombstones and trees dressed as nuns and friars.  LEONARDO and LEDA look at each other.]

LEDA

[ Whispers to Leonardo]

I'm still frightened.  I think it is true that this island is enchanted.  Why is that monk walking backwards?

LEONARDO

[ Aside to Leda]

My darling, are you getting cold feet?  Am I not so attractive without my father's fortune?

LEDA

[ Aside to Leonardo, amazed that he doens't care.] 

Leo!  That silly monk is walking backwards!

LEONARDO

[ Aside to Leda, annoyed, suspicious.]

Who are we to make fun of the religious customs of others?  You are the one who is acting funny!

[ PRIOR PUCK finally reaches the couple but he is standing with his back to them.]

PRIOR PUCK

[ To Poppy]

Spin us around, will you, Sisters Poppy and Harebell?

[ Dressed in nun's habits, the fairies POPPY and HAREBELL each take one of PUCK'S hands and run round till PUCK faces the couple.]

PRIOR PUCK

 [Aside to Poppy and Harebell]

 Bless you.

HAREBELL

 [Curtsies and attempts to give the polite reverse response.]

 Ah choo.

[POPPY yanks HAREBELL aside and slaps the back of her head.]

PRIOR PUCK

 [  Leans forward to speak to the couple and starts to fall.  TOADFLAX and FOXGLOVE catch him by his robe and tug till he's upright again.  PRIOR PUCK talks to the couple as if nothing had happened.]

 I sense some discord.

LEDA

 I am falsely accused of falling out of love with my Leonardo because of the cruel prenuptial agreement drawn by his father at the last minute.  The old goat stipulates that I must marry Leo's twin brother, Hank!  When we pointed out the error to him, the old goat, the richest man in the world, refused to pay his attorney to correct the draft and insisted he would cut both Leo and Hank out of his will if they do not abide by the prenuptial.

FOXGLOVE

 [  To PUCK while still holding PUCK'S robe so PUCK can lean forward without falling on his face.]

 Such thrift is surely an offense.  Shall I get the book and look it up?

PRIOR PUCK

 [ To Toadflax]

 By and by.

[To Yew and Bud]

Friars Yew and Bud, to the cellar and fetch the ale and wine.

[ To Harebell and Poppy]

Hide you here near Bandar's grave and signal should Mab appear.

[ To Leda and Leonardo]

Shall we to the confessional for some wine and conversation before the wedding?

LEDA

Oh! Yes. I need a drink!

LEONARDO

So now you need to be drunk before you can marry a poor man like me?

LEDA

[ To Prior Puck ]

Prior Puck, do you really think you can help us?

PRIOR PUCK

My children, you shall be happily wed and the old goat will eat his words!  Tis wonderous good luck to be wed on St. John's Eve!  Come everyone, let's to the priory!

LEDA

[ Takes Leonardo's hand.]

You see?  It's going to be alright after all.  Prior Puck is going to take care of us.

[ PRIOR PUCK walks backwards towards the priory, guided by TOADFLAX.]

LEONARDO

So now it doesn't bother you that he walks backwards?

LEDA

[ LEDA turns around and walks backwards, almost tripping in the process.]

Leo, my darling, by now you must know I will do anything for your love.

[ Everyone  exits, except HAREBELL and POPPY, who hide behind trees to wait for QUEEN MAB to appear.]

Enter STRAWBERRY and FORGET-ME-NOT

[ STRAWBERRY is still transformed into a giant egg and FORGET-ME-NOT is still transformed into an old shoe.]

STRAWBERRY AND FORGET-ME-NOT

Wait for us!

~ To Be Continued ~